and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
