Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
