I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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