i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
