I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize