i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
