saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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