He uses pillows to masturbate.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
