shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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