that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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