You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
