Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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