kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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