dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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