Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
