Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
