I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
