Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
