I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
