I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
