Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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