garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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