what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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