Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
