I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
