your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
