You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
