Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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