More tranny stories later!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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