Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
