Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
