OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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