There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
