Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize