imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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