Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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