see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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