belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
