Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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