So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize