You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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