You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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