Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
