The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just pee around me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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