Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
