My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize