Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
