we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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