she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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