i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
