I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
