I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
