Do you still have your period?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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