I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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