my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
