I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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