I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Randomize
