It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want nice things and good sex
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I see more hoeing in ur future
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