...so i touched it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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